Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Wednesday  May  22    2013

Somehow I've  come  to  assume  that my  family  shall  fulfill  all the  duties and expectations of  some  quint  essential  happy  hallmark  movie  household… 

Children  who joyfully (and somewhat  quietly) skip around singing  & dancing,  and  of  course happily   pick  up  after  themselves.

 A  mother  who's  always  smiling  as  she  bakes never ending pies and throws lavish  tea parties. 

And  a  father  with  a  cheerful  disposition  who  always  has  time  for  a  chat  or  a  walk. 

…right.   So  um  then  I  wake  up. 

Ugh, wouldn't  it  seem  easy  to  give  love  to  a  perfect family.  I  have  a  beautiful  family, don't  mistake  me! But  we  live  in  a  fallen  world, I  know.  And  that  perfection  is  not  come  yet.  Besides,  there's  a  lot  for  me  to  learn  in  this  current  imperfect  situation. 

Truly  loving  someone;  being  patient  with  a  person  whom  you're  convinced  is  being absolutely  ridiculous..well,  to  me  that  is  nearly  impossible.  Tension,  argument,  anger  all seem  inevitable  as  I  grasp  at  vain  attempts  to  prove  myself  "the  better  person". 

Then  I  hear  the  Spirit  tell  me, 

"This  is  not  of  your  own  strength,  nor  was  it  meant  to  be. You  need  me  Hannah".

This  kind  of  faithful  patience  comes  only  through  Jesus  and  His  Holy  Spirit  as  He works  and  speaks  through  me.  Again  I  am  humbled.  All  that  work  to  muster  the strength  to  be  patient,  to  love  through  my  own  efforts… and  all  I  had  to  do  was  take  a deep  breath  and  turn  it  over  to  Him.

Refine  me  Lord, through  the  flame. 

Oh  that  the  Grace  of  God  would  teach  me. 

Grant  me  a  heart  willing  to  learn. 

To  learn  how  to  really  love.